Embracing self-compassion
As we approach the end of another year (as defined by Western culture), I find myself reflecting on the journey I/we have all embarked upon. The past year has truly been cataclysmic - a rollercoaster of emotions, challenges, and growth. For me, it has likely been the most impactful year of my life to date, and I know I’m not alone. It feels like there has been a lot of levelling, which can feel uncomfortable; painful. And, perhaps cliche, but sometimes to build something even better, more beautiful, and best suited to us, we must knock everything down to the foundation. And sometimes that foundation also needs to be drilled down, crushed, and made to dust.
In the midst of this deconstruction and upheaval (to varying degrees), I think the most important thing we can all remember is self-compassion.
Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs our way, and 2023 has been no exception. My belief is that these curveballs are pre-planned in our blue prints; experiences intended to aid in our soul growth. To open our eyes to people and situations we’ve outgrown, perhaps don’t want in our lives, and maybe those we do. These times of expansion can be exceptionally painful. At times it can feel like our identity as we know it is ripped from us, it challenges our self-love, our self-perception, our sense of belonging and acceptance.
Yet, there often seems to be a glimmer somewhere on this path, even if it can take some time to see it. And the trials of traveling this path? That deserves celebration.
Whatever it is that we have each faced this past year, navigating unexpected obstacles, conquering personal goals, wading through heartbreak and self doubt, or simply surviving the day-to-day, we all deserve recognition, even if only from ourselves - especially from ourselves.
As you walk into this holiday season, remember that you’re not alone, and none of us have it all figured out. Life is messy, we all know that by now, right? Right?!
One of the most beautiful gifts you can give yourself this holiday season is the gift of self-compassion. Embracing your (perceived) imperfections, acknowledging your efforts, and treating yourself with the kindness you so readily offer others.
As the year comes to a close, here are a few gentle reminders in cultivating self-compassion.
Celebrate your wins, big or small: Whether you met a goal (or even a half-goal), aced a project at work, conquered a fear, or simply got out of bed on a rough day, celebrate those victories. Acknowledge your resilience and strength, no matter how small the achievement may seem to you.
Reflect on growth, not perfection: Instead of fixating on the things that didn't go as planned, focus on how much you've grown. Life is a journey, and each experience, both positive and negative, contributes to your personal evolution. Embrace the process and honor the lessons learned.
Release what no longer serves you: As we bid adieu to the year, take inventory of the things, habits, or relationships that no longer serve your well-being. It's okay to let go of what weighs you down, making space for new and positive experiences in the upcoming year.
Practice mindful self-talk: Pay attention to the conversations you have with yourself. Would you speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself? Probably not. Treat yourself with the same kindness, patience, and encouragement you would offer to someone you care about.
Set realistic intentions: Instead of overwhelming yourself with grandiose resolutions, set realistic intentions for the upcoming year. Break down your goals into manageable steps and remember that progress, no matter how slow, is still progress.
Create rituals of self-care: Establish daily and weekly rituals that prioritize self-care. Whether it's reading, strumming on your guitar, painting, a bubble bath, a quiet walk (or loud run jamming to your favourite beats), or a few moments of meditation, these rituals will serve as a sanctuary for your mind and soul.
As the year draws to a close, let's wrap it up with a sense of gratitude for the journey we've traveled. Embrace the “imperfect”, celebrate the victories, and step into the new year with a heart full of self-compassion. You are resilient, you are enough, and you are worthy of all the love and kindness life has to offer.
Also, arguably, “imperfections” to some, are actually, absolutely perfect.
